It's been a while since I've posted... reason being, I haven't "felt like it." And it's been over a month since I've made a real post to my family blog... the one where I post about family events and stuff like that. Things like birthdays (my daughter's was five weeks ago, and my dad's was last weekend) and Christmas (it was... well, you know when it was). I've actually posted here once since I've posted there, and written about half of another post for this blog that I haven't completed yet.
I haven't "felt like" posting because, frankly, I haven't had the time to catch up on rest. Ever have a time when you feel like you haven't had a full night's sleep EVER, much less recently, and caffeine is the only thing that keeps you from falling asleep whenever you sit down? That's me right now. Part of it is probably still some post-holidays slow-down, too... you run and run, and then in January there's nowhere you need to run and you have to get back to paying your bills and the regular mundane stuff. It can be a rather uncomfortable shift of gears. Today it's 8am and I'm drinking Coca-cola, which I do not normally do this early in the day, but hopefully it will help me keep alert until lunchtime.
Feeling like this starts affecting you emotionally, too. You start wondering about things, second-guessing yourself. Did I make a mistake with the car I'm driving, with the job I'm working at, with the town I live in, with what I ate for breakfast? With my house? With my church? Should I change any of those? Those are things I would probably never question when I was my non-tired self, but at the moment some of them seem like valid questions. And I don't like to air my muddled questioning thoughts before just anyone on the Internet! (Plus, it's kind of hard to keep a thought going long enough to even complete a... hey look, a butterfly!)
But you know what? If this blog is "Christian Life With Michael" then it should be representative of the real life of a real human being Christian, and doubting yourself is sometimes part of that. So I thought I really should share a little bit of my life with you today. I know once I get a good 8-10 hours of uninterrupted sleep (hey, it could happen!) those thoughts will evaporate... I know good and well that they are magnified by what my body is feeling. Until then, maybe say a quick prayer for my weak body to become strengthened. Next time hopefully I'll have some complex profound truth from the Word to talk about. For now, staying awake is about as profound as it gets!
I haven't "felt like" posting because, frankly, I haven't had the time to catch up on rest. Ever have a time when you feel like you haven't had a full night's sleep EVER, much less recently, and caffeine is the only thing that keeps you from falling asleep whenever you sit down? That's me right now. Part of it is probably still some post-holidays slow-down, too... you run and run, and then in January there's nowhere you need to run and you have to get back to paying your bills and the regular mundane stuff. It can be a rather uncomfortable shift of gears. Today it's 8am and I'm drinking Coca-cola, which I do not normally do this early in the day, but hopefully it will help me keep alert until lunchtime.
Feeling like this starts affecting you emotionally, too. You start wondering about things, second-guessing yourself. Did I make a mistake with the car I'm driving, with the job I'm working at, with the town I live in, with what I ate for breakfast? With my house? With my church? Should I change any of those? Those are things I would probably never question when I was my non-tired self, but at the moment some of them seem like valid questions. And I don't like to air my muddled questioning thoughts before just anyone on the Internet! (Plus, it's kind of hard to keep a thought going long enough to even complete a... hey look, a butterfly!)
But you know what? If this blog is "Christian Life With Michael" then it should be representative of the real life of a real human being Christian, and doubting yourself is sometimes part of that. So I thought I really should share a little bit of my life with you today. I know once I get a good 8-10 hours of uninterrupted sleep (hey, it could happen!) those thoughts will evaporate... I know good and well that they are magnified by what my body is feeling. Until then, maybe say a quick prayer for my weak body to become strengthened. Next time hopefully I'll have some complex profound truth from the Word to talk about. For now, staying awake is about as profound as it gets!
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